I am at WAR!!!!

*READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*
It has to be said, I am at war with nature. Not only am I fighting with a sleepy, cranky, teething 6 month old, but I am fighting with squirrels. They always get on my bird feeder and scare off my birds. I know I sound like a 60 year old woman right now but it really pisses me off. What is even worse is that I actually give them food on the ground, so they have no need to get on my feeder, its actually just one. I named her Harriet. She is the fattest squirrel I have ever seen in my entire life.
Its not really the fact that she is on my feeder either, actually what really pisses me off is when she mocks me. Yes, the squirrel MOCKS me. The other day I saw the fatty on my feeder and I knocked on the window and yelled "You son of a bitch, get off my feeder", while I beat on the window, Harriet looked at me, and proceeded to put more food into her mouth while looking at me. I was taken aback! Never have I ever felt so insulted. It was as if the squirrel was giving me the finger. I wanted to go out there and ring that little idiots neck, but I couldn't move, I just stood there and looked out the window in shock. The next day she was back on the feeder. I have no way to make it stop. When I see her on there, I knock on the window and she jumps from the feeder to the tree next to the feeder, she stretched her arms and legs out like a flying squirrel.
Dexter is scared of the birds that swoop in to the feeder right beside the kitchen window. I like to sit at the table, next to the full length window and watch the birds while Dex enjoys breakfast, but every time one comes in for food, he bursts out a horrified screech. I have tired to reassure him that they can not get into the house, and that I would NEVER let a tiny little finch hurt him, but he doesn't want to hear it. He is still scared.
So not only am I dealing with a mocking squirrel, but I am dealing with a infant scared of finches. Hopefully he will get over his finch fear, soon. Its going to be hard for him growing up with a yard full of them.
I can't believe I have gone from yelling at prisoners to yelling at squirrels....