"If I Go Home I'll Smoke You A Bowl"

A few nights at work, I was sitting at my desk, and this is the conversation I heard from the back rooms... ENJOY!!

"I am a Soldier, you better respect me!!"

"I am a F-ing Christian, come on man!!" (NICE)

"If I go home tonight, I'll smoke you a bowl, dude."

"You don't know who you are messing with, I killed President John Kennedy, AND Jesus."

"I got here at, like, 12:30 because I was walking to the liquor store, so it's gotta be at least 2 or 3 in the morning." (IT WAS ACTUALLY 10:30)

"I am a Jew, so I can't hate Jesus, but I do when I'm depressed."

"Hey, I know your wife, it's Susan isn't is." (NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED) "You screwed my wife??" "No, dude, I know your wife" "That's good, because I love that girl, I worship that girl, I even kiss her feet sometimes." "She's one lucky bitch, dude, you're a romantic." (OH YES, LUCKY INDEED, HE'S TAKEN SORRY LADIES)

"Why am I wet?" "Dude, I heard them say you pissed yourself when you got here." "Oh, Ok, at least someone else didn't piss on me, I guess." (REALLY)

"Baby Jesus was born in water, they just left that part out of the bible."